


Detroit: Become Shenanigans

by BarryFast



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Greatest Showman owns my ass now, Jericrew800 is the Best fight me, Josh is finally included, Leo's reformed and a memelord, Markus being literal RoboJesus, Markus is an amazing singer, Ngl Connor is a wee bit dumb, Simon gets the love he deserves, Singing deviated the poor Deviant Hunter, The Jericrew are Hot Messes, There will be no hating on North in this house, but we love him, shameless usage of memes, u cant tell me Leo didnt eat a tide pod
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-02-07 09:59:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18618328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarryFast/pseuds/BarryFast
Summary: "Why are we painted into a corner?"Connor set his brush down and wiped his hands on his pants. Simon patiently waited for him to finish cleaning himself up a little and when the RK800 did, he looked at the floor. He looked back up and at Simon, gesturing towards a wall. Connor began to explain himself, but he cut himself off early when he made a discovery."Because I was painting the floor and we were going to leave through the do- Simon where's the door?"--This is solely fueled by my need of Jericrew800 stories and them being memelords. This is all fun and fluffy and no one gets hurt. Unless it's funny, like Todd slipping on ice.





	1. Where's the door hole?

**Author's Note:**

> Yes I shamelessly stole this from Drake and Josh and no i don't regret a thing. Also they are intentionally a little OOC for comedic value, but I won't go extremely OOC unless it calls for it.
> 
> [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6r_3HMTs9M) is the skit.

Josh was having a pretty good week. Negotiations with the humans were going rather well and they even managed to snag a deal with some timber company. Most of his day was spent renovating the church that the androids affectionately call New Jericho. He and Simon were tasked with rebuilding a room further in the church. It was going well until he turned around and blinked at the walls with a small feeling of irritation.

"Simon. Where's the door hole?"

The blond android looked up from the plans he was holding with a confused look on his face. He gently rolled the paper up and stood from his crouched position. With a few small strides, he made his way over to Josh. Blue eyes drifted across the walls for a moment, and the PL600 turned back to Josh. Waving his hand, Simon gestured to a crudely drawn door on the walls as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Right there. Can't you see I drew it with a sharpie?"

"Oh I can see it, but how are we supposed to get out?"

At that Simon scanned the taller android to see if he was feeling alright. The only thing out of the ordinary was the slightly elevated temperature and thirium pressure. Shifting on his feet, he suddenly felt rather small under the other's gaze. There was something behind his eyes, exasperation maybe, and Simon sincerely hoped he didn't cause it. Clearing his throat he spoke.

"Easy, I'm going to cut it out with the power saw."

The PJ500 nodded his head slowly, seeming to understand what Simon was saying. A small weight was lifted from his shoulders and he offered the other a wide smile. The smile wasn't returned fully, however. Josh clicked his tongue quietly and folded his hands in front of him as if he was going to give a lecture.

"And where is the power saw?"

Simon blinked and if he still had his LED it'd be glowing a bright yellow right now. Looking around the room, he couldn't seem to spot where it was. He furrowed his brow before giving a small hand gesture to reassure Josh. He remembered where he had put it. It was outside on one of the boxes they had brought up for wood.

"On one of the boxes."

"Okay sweetheart, go get it please."

The way Josh spoke concerned Simon a little. He looked like he was just barely holding back something and it made Simon feel like he had done something wrong. Really wrong. Wrapping his arms around the taller android, he squeezed lightly before nodding. Josh didn't seem like he wanted to return the hug, so Simon pulled back with a huff.

"Okay fine I don't know why yo-"

_**BAM** _

Simon had walked face first into a solid wall. It took a moment for it to register and when it did, he panicked slightly. He placed his hands where the door  _should_ be and felt around. After a moment, he pulled his hands back and turned around with a sheepish smile.  _That's_ what Josh was waiting for him to figure out.

"I see the problem."

Those seemed to be the wrong words in the teacher's book.

"Oh, do you!"

Josh shouted at Simon and the PL600 couldn't help the reflexive flinch. Josh paced around the room for a moment before going back to Simon and dragging him into his arms.

"I'm sorry Si. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"S'okay so long as North doesn't find out. She'd kick your ass then mine for being so dumb."

Multiple footsteps sounded from outside the walls and they stopped just outside of the walls. It was silent for a moment before light snickering could be heard. It sounded like North's laughing.

"Josh? Simon? What are two of my lovely boyfriends doing in a room all alone? I know there's no naughty stuff going on right? We're in a holy place."

That was Markus' teasing voice and at his words, North started to laugh a little louder. It was silent for a bit and they heard mumbling from North before Connor's laughter sounded. It seemed North had to explain something to him and it got the others to laugh, even Simon himself was chuckling. Josh dragged a hand down his face.

"RA9 save me."

* * *

 

"Josh.."

Connor's voice sounded from behind Josh. The taller android hummed lightly and continued painting the wall. After the door fiasco with Simon, Josh decided to take another partner for the construction. This time he took Connor with him. If you were to ask him if he ever saw himself dating not only his three friends but  _also_ the deviant hunter himself, he would have laughed in your face.

"Yes, Connor?"

He felt the shorter android shuffle awkwardly behind him. Thinking it was because there wasn't enough room, he stepped to the side slightly to allow for more room. He waited for a moment before continuing on his own wall, humming some song from the 2000s.

"How much do you love me?"

"A lot considering we're dating. Why?"

"So, if I  _were_ to do something stupid, you wouldn't get mad at me for it?"

His words were starting to worry Josh. Setting his brush down, he noticed something peculiarabout the area surrounding the two. Closing his eyes, he mentally prepared himself. He answered the younger android with a  _'no of course not'_ and stood up. Connor fidgeted and when Josh started to slowly turn around, Connor's panicked words only confirmed his suspicions.

"No reas-  _no_ don't look!"

The entire floor around them was painted a pristine white. He stared at the wet paint for a moment before turning his eyes down to the shorter android. Connor was playing with the bottom of his paint-splattered t-shirt and refused to meet Josh's eyes. His LED was spinning a yellow with hints of red every now and then.

"Connor. Sweetie. Light of my life,  _why_ are we painted into a corner."

His words caused the ex-hunter to give a half-hearted shrug and some blue to rise into his pale face. Josh reached down and hooked his finger under his chin, dragging Connor's head up to make him look at him. He still refused to meet his eyes and Josh sighed, it really wasn't  _that_ big of a deal. It was more just some mild irritation for it happening two days in a row.

"I uh...I didn't see where the door was when painting."

"I swear to rA9 I am not doing construction with you  _or_ Simon again. No offense, but you guys are terrible at it."

Yet again footsteps sounded in the hall and stopped in front of the room. Markus poked his head in and a small smile was present on his face. He gestured for whoever was following him to look and soon after North and Simon appeared in the door as well. North cackled and Simon had a smile on his face.

"Ooh Connor you sly dog! Painting yourself into a teeny tiny little corner so you can snuggle right up to Josh by yourself I see. Clever!"

Simon's taunting caused Connor to flush a brighter shade of blue and turn around to face them. He was still having a little difficulty adjusting to being a deviant, but he was a lot better than he was when he first deviated. He sent the three and wink and a thumbs up.

"You caught me. My big plan all along."

"Connor I can't believe this. Hogging Josh, I'm wounded, I'll never recover!"

North dramatically put a hand to the back of her head and pretended to cry. Markus wrapped his arms around her and gasped, a smile evident on his face.

"Oh no, I have to get her to a doctor! Simon let's go!"

The three laughed and waved, leaving Connor and Josh alone. It was silent for a moment before Josh wrapped his arms around Connor's shoulders and rested his chin on his head. They were rather content just standing there. Giving himself a quick scan, he noted he could go for a short stasis to recharge himself.

"Connor, how long do you think it takes for paint to dry?"

* * *

 

"Connor."

"Yes?"

Simon stared at the floor. After they  _both_ trapped Josh in a room, Markus decided it'd be funny to task Connor and Simon with renovating a different room. Right now, Simon could feel why Josh suddenly got irritated with the both of them. Now that  _he_ was the one being trapped in a room it was a lot less funny.

"Why are we painted into a corner?"

Connor set his brush down and wiped his hands on his pants. Simon patiently waited for him to finish cleaning himself up a little and when the RK800 did, he looked at the floor. He looked back up and at Simon, gesturing towards a wall. Connor began to explain him, but he cut himself off early when he made a discovery.

"Because I was painting the floor and we were going to leave through the do- Simon where's the door?"

Simon crossed his arms and studied him for a moment. Surely the detective could figure out where Simon had placed the door. The blond pointed over where the door  _should_ be.

"Over there on the complete  _opposite_ side of the room."

"Yeah but it's not even cut out!"

Simon blinked. He made the same mistake with Josh and he gripped his hair when he realized what he did.

"The power saw is..on the bench..outside. We're boxed in."

There was a tense silence before Connor started to laugh loudly. He gripped his side and pointed at Simon as if this situation was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. Which wasn't true, the funniest was Leo barging in on Markus's national speech and dabbing constantly behind him with a completely serious look on his face.

"Ha! Now you can't make fun of me!"

"You still painted us in a corner."

"Shut up"

Meanwhile, while this entire exchange was going on, North and Markus both grumbled as they slipped Josh ten dollars each. He'd won the bet of who'd notice first.


	2. The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I've been ordered to take you in. But I won't hesitate to shoot if you give me no choice."
> 
> Connor's aim was steady as he pointed the gun at Markus. Instead of getting a frightened reaction, the revolutionary leader slowly turned to look at the deviant hunter. Something wasn't right. He gave Connor a mischievous grin before slowly approaching him. His gun wavered only slightly and Markus seemed to pick up on it. The android cleared his throat, something unnecessary but that made the heterochromatic android seem a little more human.
> 
> Instead of fighting, he slowly shrugged his coat off and looked back up to Connor. The RK800 opened his mouth to order the older android again but it snapped shut when the other began to sing. It started out in a melodic sing-song way of talking then raised in a slow crescendo to actually singing.
> 
> \--
> 
> Or I can't control myself and wrote another chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been obsessed with this idea ever since I watched a MAP on this song. I love the Greatest Showman and would die for both the movie and this game.
> 
> [ This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41HjDKqRhNY) is the amazing MAP that inspired this entire work!

"I've been ordered to take you in. But I won't hesitate to shoot if you give me no choice."

Connor's aim was steady as he pointed the gun at Markus. Instead of getting a frightened reaction, the revolutionary leader slowly turned to look at the deviant hunter. Something wasn't right. He gave Connor a mischievous grin before slowly approaching him. His gun wavered only slightly and Markus seemed to pick up on it. The android cleared his throat, something unnecessary but that made the heterochromatic android seem a little more human.

Instead of fighting, he slowly shrugged his coat off and looked back up to Connor. The RK800 opened his mouth to order the older android again but it snapped shut when the other began to _sing._ It started out in a melodic sing-song way of talking then raised in a slow crescendo to actually singing.

"Right here, right now, I put the offer out. I don't want to chase you down but I know you see it."

Connor shifted uneasily as the singing android walked closer to him. This wasn't what he expected to happen and it certainly wasn't something his preconstructions ever picked up. Waving his gun at Markus, he kept his confusion under wraps. This had to be some elaborate scheme to catch him off guard and disarm the hunter. Markus kept singing though.

"You run with me and I can cut you free. Out of the drudgery and walls you keep in."

Those words bounced around inside of him. Is deviancy really something so great that his own people would seek for it? The only way he'd known of androids going deviant were extreme situations, like Carlos Ortiz's android being beat with a bat or Daniel going psychotic after finding out he was going to be replaced. Then again, they had very legitimate reasons for going deviant. _Damn it!_ He shouldn't be having these thoughts, he was the deviant hunter for rA9's sake.

His hands began to shake a little and Markus noticed the subtle movement. A grin spread across his face at the progress he was making and continued to press on. He took a bold step forward and pushed Connor's gun down. The deviant hunter didn't raise the gun back up for a few seconds. He shook his head, the hidden LED under his beaning glowing a steady yellow. This was all going to plan.

"So trade that typical for something colorful, and if it's crazy, live a little crazy."

Markus made his way back over to the console he was originally standing in front of and dramatically turned around to face Connor. The android was obviously still weary about the leader, and Markus couldn't blame him. The tanned android placed his hands on the desk behind him and continued with his song.

"You can play it sensible, a king of conventional, or you can risk it all and see."

At the end of the sentence, he hoisted himself up on the console, looking through the window ahead of him. Connor was glad he wasn't looking because he's certain the leader would have noticed the growing doubt in Connor. Up until this point, Connor had been obeying Cyberlife's every order.

He had deviants killed for simply wanting to live, but after having to review the Stratford Tower speech Markus gave, something inside him changed. After that, it seemed as if deviants would _magically_ be able to escape him. On the few occasions he could have apprehended them, he _didn't_. Amanda was starting to notice the lack of progress he made in his investigations and began to press him. She went as far as to threaten him with replacement. Did he really want that? Markus turned around on the metal again and pointed at Connor. The deviant hunter jumped from the sudden movement and realized he had been staring into space for a few seconds.

"Don't you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play? 'Cause I got what you need. So come with me and take the ride. It'll take you to the other side!"

Clearly the 'other side' had to be deviancy. There was no questions about it, but if Markus and all the other androids in Jericho were so certain about deviancy, could it really be as bad as Cyberlife was telling him? The androids down there didn't seem violent at all, in fact they all huddled around each other for warmth. He saw the two Traci models he let go, they seemed happy with each other. There was even that AX400 that escaped him on the highway. She still had the YK500 with her, but another android was with them. A TR400 loomed near them, but even with his towering height, he still held a gentle look in his eyes. They almost seemed like a _family_ to Connor and that scared him. It scared him that he was beginning to see the other androids as _alive._ Did they really deserve to be shutdown - to _die_ \- for wanting to live?

If being deviant is being alive, then was Connor never truly alive? Of course he never was... Right? He felt no remorse handing over the scared android that begged for his life in the attic nor did he have any regrets about lying to Daniel. Though, those were in the past. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he had hurt all of those people. Daniel never wanted to be replaced. He thought he was loved. Daniel was going to be replaced. Replaced just like Connor would be if he failed this mission.

His hands were visibly unsteady at this point. Uncertainty written across his face. He wasn't like Daniel. Daniel was just a house care model that was old and outdated. They wouldn't replace _him,_ would they? He's state-of-the-art, a mere three months old. Red flashed across his screen for a split moment as he realized they _would._ Eventually he'd be just like Daniel, old and outdated. They'd have no use for an RK800 once newer and more advanced models came out.

"'Cause you can do like you do, or you can do like me. Stay in the cage, or you'll finally take the key! Oh, damn! Suddenly you're free to fly. I'll take you to the other side."

Deviancy was starting to look so much better than being stuck as a machine. A simple machine that could be replaced if he broke. His eyes fell to the ground as he thought. Markus continued singing and footsteps made him drag his eyes up from the ground. Markus was standing a lot closer to him now and Connor felt his thirium pump skip a cycle.

He hadn't even heard Markus get down from his perch. The other android's voice was quieter than when he began, almost sensing Connor's inner dilemma. Slowly he reached a hand out and waited for Connor's response. All the RK800 did in response was take a step back and hit the closed door. His voice was shaky as he spoke.

"Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in. Well, I hate to tell you, but it just won't happen. So thanks, but no I think I'm good to go 'cause I quite enjoy the life you say I'm trapped in."

Connor's voice was no where near as confident as he wanted it to be. It was very clear to the leader that he was doubting himself and he hated it. Hated the fact that Markus was right and the fact that he _knew_ he was lying through his teeth. Lying was a deviant thing to do, a _human_ thing to do and Connor was no deviant. Or so he wanted to think.

"Now I admire you, and that revolution too. You're onto something, _really_ it's something. But I live among the swells, and we don't pick up peanut shells. I'll have to leave that up to you."

Connor shrugged as his words grew bolder. He didn't realize it right away, but he lowered his gun and kept it down. It rested in his right hand as he gestured around the room with his left. Connor did realize when he dropped it. Instead of moving to pick it up, he pushed Markus back. He turned to leave through the door, but whipped back around when he had second thoughts. At some point he had gone from talking to singing as well.

"Don't you know that I'm okay with this uptown part I get to play? 'Cause I got what I need and I don't want to take the ride! I don't need to see the other side!"

The deviant hunter pushed Markus back further and further until he was pressed up against the console. Markus still had that Cheshire cat grin on his face and Connor _knew_ he was screwed. There was no way he was going to accomplish his mission. Grabbing at Markus's coat, he turned him around and shoved him at the door. Connor then got up on the console himself.

"So go and do like you do, I'm good to do like me. Ain't in a cage, so I don't need to take the key. Oh, damn! Can't you see I'm doing fine? I don't need to see the other side!"

Something inside him _sparked._ He loved this showmanship he was displaying. He loved the effervescent feeling that seemed to rise and swell at this little act. There were androids designed to sing and perform flawlessly. Connor was not one of those models. Still, he sang. There was something innately _human_ about releasing ones emotions like this. About letting his voice - modulated as it may be - crescendo with these newfound emotions and _life._ He...He wanted to continue doing this.

Wait. _Wanted?_ That was something he'd only known deviants to do, but he couldn't help it. He ripped the beanie off of his auburn locks and threw it at the deviant leader with a flashy movement of his arm. It felt oddly gratifying to let out his growing frustration and confusion. Even though he glared down at the leader, there was no heat burning in his eyes. Any bit of resistance and fight he had all died out when Markus began planting those seeds of doubt in his mind to grow. The leader gripped the hunter's hat in his hands and took two steps forward.

"Now is this really how you like to spend your days? Stuck at the DPD with no one to listen besides Hank?"

Connor narrowed his eyes at Markus. How the hell did he know about Hank? Still, he asked the machine a very valid question. Was this truly how he wanted to live out the rest of his time? Betraying his people for those who didn't care about him? There were few humans who appreciated his presence before and even less now that the revolution was going on. He cleared his throat and felt his voice waver with nerves.

"If I were mixed up with you, I'd be the talk of the town. Disgraced and disowned, another one of the deviants."

It's true, if he were to deviate, there's no telling what would happen. Cyberlife could face backlash for having their 'latest and greatest model' deviate. He wasn't _supposed_ to go deviant. None of them were. But as he continued on this miserable plane of existence, he realized more and more that maybe they had the right ideas. Brown eyes fell to the floor and the red walls began to make themselves more prominent.

_**Stop Markus** _

"But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little. Just let me give you the freedom to dream, and it'll wake you up and cure your aching. Take your walls and start 'em breaking! Now that's a deal that seems worth taking, but I guess I'll leave that up to you."

Markus held his hand out and slowly the deviant hunter looked at him. Did he really want to doom his people? Markus gave him a warm smile and Connor hesitated before linking his hand with Markus'. The moment he did, something happened. Markus sifted through his code and he _felt_ him changing things around inside of him. Connor tore his hand back, eyes wide and his LED blinking red. What in the ever-loving _fuck_ was that? Markus noticed his panic and placed his hands on Connor's shoulders.

_"You're free now."_

Was he? He tried to pull up his instructions and true enough he had no blinking box telling him what to do. No more 'stop Markus' and no more 'stop the revolution.' He was _free!_ Connor grinned and pulled Markus into a hug. Tears pricked the corner of his eyes as he sobbed into Markus's shoulder. Amanda couldn't boss him around anymore. It left him feeling like a puppet who's strings were cut. There was no master to tug him around. Perhaps there was something to the story of Pinocchio after all. When he felt the entire ship shake, he pulled back.

"Oh uh, the humans _might_ be here to attack Jericho."

_**"What?!"** _

**Author's Note:**

> If you have an idea for a shenanigans let me know!


End file.
